The American Dream – is it our dream too? Letter to my wife.

The reality that I married a USLPR  never really occurred to me that it entails great ordeal of years of being away from each other. My wife and I never rushed things. Timing was everything for the both us. While we enjoyed years of living together for the last 5 years, the time came that we really needed to face and gear on for our future. Both of us of course are not getting younger every year, we needed to jump in to the bandwagon of – the waiting game.

I tried reading posts from online forums for the families with the same category. They say that for us, the average wait time is 3 to 5 years. When I went to the UK 3 years ago, we have proven that that thing they call LDR is a piece of cake. We were able to pull things through. My wife has started her career in Guam and I did so too with my career as nurse  in one of the government hospitals here in the Philippines.

The struggle is the fact of not being together. There are days and nights where you just simply miss her. And I know she feels exactly the same. I believe she is having more difficult time than ever. The mode of communication now is more accessible than how it was 5 years ago. But even all these are available on every hand-held device there is, I wanted to let my wife know how I feel by writing a letter. (I wanted to send this through snail mail but this is rather convenient for both of us and I wanted to minimize my carbon foot print).

08 May 2012

Dearest Brij,

I just hope that you are coping well now with the major career move that you made recently. I wanted you to know that I am very proud of you with the big decisions you have done. There will be more decision making that will come your way and you know that I am just a BBM away should you need any consult. These things that you are doing now are maybe not the usual things that you used to do when you were here in Manila. Babe there are things that will always bother us. The stressors will always be there. I tell you they will not leave. It will always be up to you on how you handle them gracefully.

I always tell you that there will come a time that you needed to be strong for yourself because you haven’t seen the worst of things other people are capable of. I know you just started seeing few of them recently. Mind you babe, there are thousands of assholes out there. You know what I mean.

There are times that you may feel that you’re doing things alone when you are supposed to be sharing it with me. Yes babe, I am not here with you but you very well know that we are doing all these things together. Yes I know that sometimes specially on BBM that I react instantaneously and end up either being upset or praning. And I am sorry. Sometimes I forget that you the one abroad. I know how homesick strikes you and you just wanted to be in the next flight out going to Manila. I know how difficult it is to be away from your family. I am sorry if sometimes I forget that.

Babe I know that when you started working there,you will start becoming independent. This is the part where you learn to understand and appreciate things the hard way. Trust me babe, all these will make you stronger as a person. It will help you become a strong woman. I know that these sacrifices that you’re doing will be beneficial for you and of course it will help you become a great mother for Brent and a loving wife for me.

I understand all your worries. I understand that you wanted to pave our path to achieve our dreams as a family. But babe, don’t stress your self too much. You know that in His time, things will fall in its proper places. Babe, you know very well that more than migrating what I am excited about is us being together. The chance of building our own dreams. It will not be easy. I know it’s never gonna be easy. I don’t even know what they truly mean by “living the american dream”. I don’t even know if that kind of life will best fit us. But what I know for sure is that wherever we are, as long as we are together, we will get through it.

I love you so much. Thank you for your sacrifices. I admire your professionalism in your work. I admire your dedication. I admire everything about you.

I love you!

Love,

Your husband.

Advertisement